What do we do? Please be nice with suggestions

Our soon is 16 months and while I love him deeply, my patience has become nonexistent.

I read that holding your baby for naps creates a secure attachment so that they would be able to build sleep independence and here we are 16 months later still holding him for every nap.

Bedtime used to be nice because he would at least sleep in his crib in the night but now we’re lucky to get 2 hours in there before he wakes up and is in our bed.

He feeds every hour right now for comfort/teething and screams for mom when my husband tries to comfort and console him. I’d try to let them work through it but it makes no sense to wait it out because I end up still awake by the crying.

So right now I feel like I get no break from being attached to him because even if I stay the parent to get him back to sleep in the middle of the night, there is always one wake up where it takes him an hour and a half to go back to bed.

I don’t want to breastfeed at night anymore, I don’t want him in our bed anymore, and I don’t want him to CIO.

Do we just tough it out until my husband and I are zombies and he finally sleeps without me and milk?

I will say he’s definitely not hungry. He eats very well throughout the day and he’s eating for comfort/to help with teething.

Why won’t he sleep independently? I thought I was doing what I needed to create a secure bond where he knows he’s not abandoned for sleeping in a crib.

Every night of this makes me want to ram my head into a wall.