The most embarrassing thing happened to me yesterday

As someone who has struggled with alcohol for years in secret, you would think something like this wouldn’t be such a big deal, but I think this might be the thing that made me realize I really need to get off of this poison for good.

So the day before yesterday, I placed a delivery order with Walmart for a bottle of liquor and some groceries (just so I didn’t look like a complete fucking lush). All I wanted was the booze but I also got a bunch of fruit and some random lunch meat so hopefully the driver wouldn’t think I was placing an expedited order at 9:30am for just booze. So anyways the order came and I signed for it and they scanned my id. I figured all was well and no one would realize the reason for the expedited order was the booze.

Yesterday, I placed an order with Instacart for the same items and the guy who picked up my order was the same guy as the day before. Apparently he works for spark (Walmart delivery) and Instacart. I went out to collect my order and show my id and was completely caught off guard when I realized it was the same fucking guy as the day before. My embarrassment was obvious on my face and the way I stumbled over my words. In the moment I realized I really do have a problem.

I have been a daily drinker for over 15 months now but only recently have I started taking breaks in between my horrible binges. I’ve made it about 7 days at a time maximum before I forget how horrible the booze are and start again. It’s progress not perfection and that is what I tell myself when I slip up and drink but I was so embarrassed yesterday that I will never be getting an alcohol delivery again.

TLDR; I was trying to hide my drinking by ordering alcohol delivery through both Instacart and Walmart delivery over the course of 2 days and was caught. My plan is obviously not as sly as I thought.

I am sober today though because of that.

IWNDWYT