MIL confronted me for being a Nacho SP

I was spending some time with my MIL recently when she decided to drop on me that she doesn't like my approach with SD. She finds me disingaged and she's told me she thinks it's my responsibility to make things fun for SD so she'll want to come for dad's parenting time. She asked why I don't make a huge fuss (like all the big hugs and I missed you so much stuff) when SD arrives at our home to which I replied "I don't even do that for my own children because that's inauthentic to who I am - so it would be pretty fake if I did". I'm a quiet and calm person and I don't really show big expressions of emotions at any time. She basically said she feels it's my responsibility to make sure SD is mothered like my kids and she doesn't understand why I don't seem able to "love her like my own". I nacho so I'm pretty neutral around my SD and mostly take a backseat so she can spend time with her dad (we only have her EOWE and her BM is super (overly lol) involved and provides all the mothering). My partner and I have agreed on this approach (and have done a ton of therapy just to prevent our relationship/ family from imploding) but I still struggle so much with the judgement of people who have zero experience with blended families thinking that I'm a witch for not doing backflips and putting on a song and dance for SD. How do you guys deal with this (either how you feel about it or how you adress it with people who question your approach)?