I'm really, really, really suffering

I don't know what to say I don't feel able to explain why I feel this way but I just feel so awful and I can't ever imagine anything being okay

I feel SO alone and frightened in this world I don't know if my spirit belongs somewhere else but I keep saying "I want to go home" ALL the time

I feel like a child I'm 28 but I feel like a child who is lost and I NEED to go home but I don't know where that is

I don't feel safe here I need to feel calm and safe and loved. I feel like I need a mum to run to to somehow make everything ok.

I feel like this life is a nightmare and I need my mum to come wake me up from it but in reality my mum wouldn't have a clue how to help me I don't feel like my parents keep me safe any more because I've realised they have no idea what's going on either

Is this life a nightmare? I feel like I need to wake up from it desperately. How do I go home?