My social calendar is getting full, here's what I'm learning

I still sometimes have crippling social anxiety, but lately I've been invited to so many social gatherings that I have to start consulting my personal calendar before saying yes to anything. People genuinely seem to like hanging out with me, and I'm still bewildered but trying to get used to it. These are the things that I wish I'd understood sooner:

The only thing that matters is what you do and what you say. For too long I tried to police my thoughts. I was scared that when I had an intrusive thought everyone else would be able to read it in my expression or body language and they would immediately judge me. Nobody actually does this, and if they try there's something wrong with them not you. Nobody can read your mind and your eyes are not giving away your thoughts. What you do and what you say are who you are, and that is it.

The only thing that matters is what THEY do and what THEY say. Do not try to read someone else's mind. It doesn't work. People's body language, expressions, and eye contact (or lack thereof) mean NOTHING. You don't want someone trying to interpret your thoughts through your expressions. Don't do it to someone else. You will probably be completely wrong. What people do and what people say are under their control, and that is the only thing you can judge.

Pay attention to what makes you feel heard and wanted. Imitate that for others. This is the learning process that I missed out on growing up isolated. Social skills, for me, are learned through imitation. I liked when that person invited me to lunch. Next time I feel like eating out, I will invite someone. I liked when this person asked me about my favorite thing. Next conversation, I'll ask someone about their favorite thing. I liked when someone asked me to come along when they were on their way to a fun thing. When I want to go to a fun thing, I'll ask someone to come along. These are the things that I know make me happy, so it's mostly a safe bet that imitating them will make someone else happy too.

Trust that people don't want to hurt you. I realized that when I get nervous over how someone will react to something, it's essentially a lack of trust in that person. I don't trust them not to hurt me, which means some part of me thinks they're capable of hurting me, which is hurtful toward that person. Trust is the scariest thing to me, it leaves me vulnerable. Worse, though, is assuming the other person doesn't trust me not to hurt them, or is expecting me to say or do something hurtful. If we both trust each other, then that's the only scenario where no one gets hurt. The risk is worth it. I'm surprised daily at how much other people trust me when I haven't been trusting them at all. I've missed out on so much.