SAHM, how did you leave your marriage?

For over a decade I've been blinded. I've ignored all of the little red flags. Now those flags are growing. I'm miserable but I'm mostly scared because I've become the cliche...the statistic....no money, completely reliant on him, kids are my priority, bills and finances are all handled by me...leaving would not only mean I still do it all on my own, but while working nights more than likely. But I haven't had a job in over a decade who would hire me? How do leave silently so one day, I'll wake up happy, confident and able to avoid a fight? We have a homestead, I'll have to leave that behind, my kids are homeschooled, working nights is my only option. I have no friends, I have no family that can help. I can't keep waking up next to a man who says he loves me but yells, degrades me, gaslights me and shows my kids anger is the answer. I'm desperate, I'm exhausted.

Editing to add, I have talked to him. For months I've pleaded with him to work on his anger, to learn new ways of communication. It's been a topic of issue in the past and we went to counseling about 5 years ago, it worked for a while until he quit going and quit using the tools we were given. I've quit trying in our marriage, when he gets angry and argues, I just let him win now, he's right about everything he yells about and it makes him even more angry that I don't feed into it. I've TRIED TO BEG HIM TO GIVE ME THE COMMUNICATION I NEED FO FEEL LOVED, but it's always turned around into being my fault because I didn't give him sex one night out of the week. I'm done trying. I've tapped out. I need to find myself again before he completely ruins me.