Hub has retrojealousy over a Latino Man I hooked up with in College

Hi all,

The issue is this. Im 29 F and my husband is 34 M. We are both White which is important here because my husband is obsessed with comparing the reaction and I have with him in bed vs. the reaction I had with a latino man I was with in my past (he saw in a video if you are wondering how he knows). My husband says I dont react the same for him and is working to change that. where we are, its mostly all white people and there tends to be hostility against boarder crossing so some racism against Latinos. The guy I mentioned earlier is the only non white I ever been with and my husband has some issues with that fact it seems. At times he says low-key racist things.

I wish he would just drop all this and focus on us instead of chasing ghosts from the past. I suggested therapy but he said this is a physical problem not mental. He has tried exercising, dieting and pills but has been frustrated when the reaction is not "the same" as he puts out. Funny thing is I dont have a problem with us, Im happy and comfortable with him but he is the one harping. I think it's stupid because I devoted years of my life and two kids to my husband and he seems to not care about any of that.

tl;dr Husband has retroactive jealousy and constantly compares my reaction with him to reaction with another man from my past. Racism might be involved. He won't stop until he "improves" but not sure how to help him do that.