Miserable ORISE fellowship experience… but that FTE carrot

Currently an ORISE fellow. It has been honestly the most consistently miserable position I have ever had. I love the type of work and the potential for positive impact, but the boss and team have been the most toxic I have ever experienced. I’m staying because the FTE carrot is hanging in front of my nose, but the prospects of actually getting an FTE look slim to none. The benefits of FTE employment and retirement are UNPARALLELED. Retirement at 60 with full health insurance and sizable pension (which doesn’t exist outside of government work anymore) plus your matched retirement savings until you push up daisies. Job security of a fed FTE is like nothing I’ve ever seen - they can’t get rid of you. Really. They can’t. The pay is also good. I almost can’t justify leaving this position that is making me completely miserable because I feel like if I hang in there, MAYBE, just maybe I might secure and FTE position eventually. The thought of giving up a chance at that kind of long term professional and financial security makes me sick to my stomach. I’ve looked at options for attempting to move around in the agency (contracting, other fellowships), but haven’t found much that would be an appropriate fit.

Did anyone else have a horrific ORISE/non-FTE equivalent fellowship/contracting experience? How did you handle it? Any advice on weighing current misery for future security and when it’s not worth it anymore?