My husband is sick every time I’m sick…

This has not been isolated to pregnancy but now that I’m pregnant and in the throes of morning sickness, it’s driving me nuts.

Every time I get sick, my husband will “get sick” 12-24 hours later. Sometimes it’s legitimate illness: cough, congestion, etc. Other times it’s just “I just feel off. I just don’t feel right. I think I need to rest”. We’ve talked about it before and he insists it’s not made up, and has even called me selfish for my thinking “it’s all about me”, but in my perception, I don’t ask for much, we both pull our weight around the house equally, and so when I’m feeling like true shit, and do, for once, “need it to be about me”, it’s like he can’t handle it, and has to match how I’m feeling. The only reason I care is because I hate feeling sick and needing rest and then having my partner tell me “something’s off, I just feel funny, I need rest”.

This morning I think I reached my peak anger over this. Our daughter woke up super early, and I have to take thyroid meds and wait an hour to eat. I asked him to please get up with her so I didn’t have to be up for an hour feeling super nauseous and not be able to eat. He tiredly got up, kind of annoyed at the situation. I got up an hour later, and while standing in the kitchen making toast, had to run to the trashcan and dry heave/throw up the water I’d drunk this morning. Fast forward a half hour later and I hear him in the bathroom, first brushing his teeth and basically gagging himself with the toothbrush (Idk why he does this shit… he tells me he has to brush his tongue and apparently aggressively enough to gag) and next he’s coughing. It gets more and more aggressive until it sounds like he’s throwing up. At this point I’m sitting on the couch fuming thinking “is he literally trying to make himself throw up this morning to prove some sort of point because he was mad he had to get up at 4:45?!”

So I confront him and he pulls the “it’s not all about you!” Bullshit and then tells me he had a bunch of phlegm in his throat he was trying to get up and so he was coughing and it made him almost throw up. So then I asked to clarify - you’re intentionally trying to cough up phlegm THAT hard that you’re going to puke? And he tells me no, he couldn’t control it. Then I told him he should probably just stay home from work if he is literally coughing uncontrollably to the point of almost puking. Anyhow, he ends up going to work, is totally fine, not a problem anymore.

Is it possible that he does this totally subconsciously? Maybe I’m the one being insensitive. This is just so annoying. I’d love to feel “off and like I need rest”. Instead I’m exhausting, and feeling like I am going to puke all the time.