Trying to separate from unstable wife

I’m in the military, she’s not. 3 year marriage that’s been awful. I’ve been trying to get divorced from her for a year and a half but every time she threatens suicide or acts insane. I admit I’m not perfect either I was sexting a girl on snap pictures and pretty detailed kinky messages. I was wrong should never have done that. She found out and now it’s gone batshit. She took videos of her going through my snap and threatens to send it to my command if I try to leave.

She’s sent the videos to her family, made me tell my folks, and the cops were called because our neighbors heard her threaten suicide again. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve told my superior and he said to get away from her but when I try to leave she threatens to send the video. I’m months from separating and she won’t stop bugging me at work calling me constantly sending me paragraphs of awful shit.