Emotional incest

I am putting this out there cause not everyone knows...(I copied from an online source)

What is emotional incest?

“Emotional incest is when a parent or primary caregiver treats a child like a romantic partner,” says Douglass. “The parent relies on the child to get their own emotional needs met that would normally be fulfilled by an adult partner.” The relationship is not physically or sexually intimate in nature, but it is inappropriate and unfair to the child, nonetheless.

When a parent or caregiver engages in covert incest, boundaries are blurred or non-existent. This is known as enmeshment. The child is placed in a mature emotional role, and they become the primary emotional support for their caregiver, Douglass says. They might feel like a parent themselves, taking care of their parent’s needs all the time. This is referred to as emotional parentification.

Of course, it’s okay for a parent to open up to a child and share feelings to some extent. However, emotional incest behavior goes far beyond what’s normal or appropriate since the topics discussed are not age-appropriate for a child. These conversations can put a child in a very uncomfortable position.

Examples of emotional incest Emotional incest can present in many different ways. The overarching theme is crossing boundaries of what’s normal and acceptable for a parent-child relationship. “Essentially, in an emotionally incestuous relationship, the caregiver’s needs must always come first,” Douglass says. “If the child attempts to do anything that detracts from that, it places them in a very uncomfortable position, and the parent often makes the child feel guilty.”

Douglass says some examples of emotional incest in a family dynamic are:

When a parent overshares details of romantic relationships with a child

When a parent discusses marital troubles in detail with a child

When a parent puts their own emotional needs before a child’s emotional needs

When a child is forced to give up age-appropriate activities so they can be present for their parent

When a parent is jealous of their child’s friends or anything else that occupies the child’s attention

When a parent doesn’t give the child privacy or their own space

When a parent vents to a child about trouble at work

When a parent makes the child feel guilty if they aren’t complying 100%