Growing up did you have ‘bathroom issues’?

Curious how common it is for other trans people to have issues like this. I’ve heard about mtf folks struggling with things like using urinals before coming out but I haven’t heard when it comes to afab trans people.

CW- medical issues, dysphoria, bathroom problems, prob tmi

My experience; As a child I was pretty feminine, i wouldn’t say at the time I’d think of myself as a boy. I did however have a habit of stuffing my pants with toilet paper or napkins. It just felt like having something more there was more comfortable. Like something was meant to be there. I also had a lot of anxiety around using the bathroom at places such as school. It wasn’t so much as I didn’t like going into the girls restrooms. It was more like I didn’t want to see myself. I also had epilepsy as a kid and due to that I wasn’t allowed to use the bathroom by myself. They’d have another student come with and wait outside the bathroom for me. Which made me feel even worse since I felt so singled out being the only kid not allowed to use the restroom alone. I ended up having a lot of UTIs as a kid. I chugged cranberry juice basically every day. Even when my seizures stopped I still had a lot of bathroom anxiety. Leading into middle and high school. In grade 8 I had a medical emergency thing happen and without going into detail the hallway leading to the bathroom was blocked off and staff had to call an ambulance. Even though nobody actually saw my face during it ( part of why it was blocked off was the staff didn’t want other students to know what happened since my medical issues are personal) but even though nobody outside a few friends and teachers knew my bathroom anxiety went up. Scared something bad might happen. About two years ago ( in college ) my bottom dysphoria was so bad that what started out as me thinking I just had the flu turned out to be pyelonephritis and I had to be hospitalized for it. Couldn’t walk, needed to be on oxygen. All because I couldn’t simply take care of my body.

I feel like since I’ve been in a T4T relationship, started transitioning, and have found some people who I feel safe with talking about my issues it has helped manage dysphoria better. I’m scared with the whole situation in the US though potentially I could be hurt or arrested for using a public restroom. I don’t use the men’s restrooms. As I don’t really pass as a guy ( even with facial hair and a deeper voice people still assume I’m a woman? ) but as the hrt works it’s magic it might complicate things. I tend to use a gender neutral or the women’s restrooms if they’re empty. Hypothetically if I were to go into the men’s restroom and pass it might cause issues cause I tend to dress feminine.

Being non-cis is stressful.

I feel kinda embarrassed about much pain I’ve caused for myself because I couldn’t bring myself use the restroom as often as I should’ve.