Mission Impossible 2

Revisiting the Mission Impossible franchise and have moved on the number 2

I had a total hatred for Tom Cruise in the 90’s and I could never really remember why. Then I put on Mission Impossible 2, perhaps the most self indulgent movie of all time.

Here are my thoughts

The opening plane crash sequence wouldn’t be made in the post 9/11 world. I don’t think anyways.

What a stupid fucking way to introduce Ethan in this movie. Free climbing by himself so he can do a 2 minute Oakley product placement.

The smarmy introduction of Ethan and Thandie Newton’s character is straight up ripoff of 90’s Pierce Brosnan James Bond, as is Ethan sleeping with her and the car chase. The car chase is totally stolen from Goldeneye. And the lame dialogue before they go to bed is so lunkheaded it’s nauseating. As is the pillow talk.

Ahh Anthony Hopkins. Maybe this will add some credibility to the film.

James Bond does not fall in love this fast. One boinking and Ethan is ready to throw his life away is not very James Bond at all.

James Bond does not brood over women either.

Those are some badass shots of Sydney Harbour.

Ooh I wonder how expensive that sea side house is.

I love how 1998 was the year they tried to figure out how to make pulling data up on a computer and looking at surveillance footage exciting (see also Armageddon and Enemy of the State)

John Woo slow mo is the primary reason I’m not really a fan. Hard Tarbet being the most egregious offender.

So I guess we’re just supposed to accept that this IMF agent is now the bad guy just cuz they tell us he is.

Oh the bad dialogue “what are you going to do spank me?”

John Woo’s having a little too much fun with the mask idea.

Okay the entry into Biocyte was pretty badass

I keep checking how much time is left I’m not particularly invested in any of these characters but I’ll stick it out until the end.

So this helicopter is just gonna hover over the building for like 20 mins and nobody is gonna notice.

Oh I remember this stylized gun fighting looks kind of cool but totally ineffective.

Ugh I can’t do it I’ve got 45 mins left and I can’t sit through that. I’m out

All in all a truly terrible movie that is even worse than I remember.