I'm tired of myself

It's hard to live with mental illness and Eating bullshit. Sick in the mind, but physically healthy. I know I should take my meds.But maybe sad is better.I don't know anymore Usually I would get plastered but I'm out of my drink. Knife is too dull for my arm Maybe I'm just being a dramatic 17-year-old. As my mother says, I'm the mistake. Supposedly I was had on birth control. The meds just not on the brain. And I don't know if that's worse or better than what I'm feeling right now. Maybe I just need to sleep even though I slept all day. My apologies, if I bothered you. Thank you for listening.