Disability vs self doubt

So today I finally had enough energy to walk to the post office and mail my CPP-D application (Canadian disability benefits) … so naturally now I’m sitting at home feeling like an imposter and like I’m “not that sick”, since I didn’t immediately get a headache and become bed-bound when I got home from walking 6 blocks.

Even though filling out the application over the past couple months did help me to realize that my chronic illnesses have, indeed, as they say, disabled me. Like, looking back 10 years I used to work 3 jobs (enthusiastically!), 5 years ago I was managing 40 hour work weeks but had no energy for anything else, now I’m working about 4 days per month, if I can manage it, and still struggling to be reliable.  

But, still, today I am really struggling with feeling like I’m not worthy of support.  Sigh.