Feeling down about processing speed

This is a rant/cope as well as a question.

27M. A little bit of background.. I was almost deaf as a small child due to chronic ear infections, and it caused me to have what’s called an “auditory processing disorder” which of course means I struggle processing auditory information. As you can imagine, this has led to misunderstandings and frustrations for myself and others throughout my life. In childhood and adolescence I was sometimes badly mistreated in social situations and especially team sports directly because of this issue.. some of the memories haunt me to this day. Because I was mostly fine in school and generally regarded as "smart" throughout my education, I sort of took for granted that I was intelligent up until young adulthood, when at some point I really started internalizing ridicule, and I started replaying the childhood memories in my head, wondering if all the humiliation really means something. I beat myself up now over silly mistakes that normal people make. I look back in anger a lot, and hold deep resentment sometimes for friends who have made me feel ashamed or embarrassed.

For anyone on here who has experienced processing speed issues, what is your IQ, and what has your experience been like? Have you dealt with feelings of inferiority, and how do you overcome them?