I wish I could act more feminine :(

As a guy I feel like my autism gives me feminine traits. Any other autistic guys feel like that? I want to buy a Blåhaj and hug it and be flamboyant like Freddie Mercury. I want to clap when I’m excited and speak with my naturally high pitch voice. I want to dance like an idiot and laugh hysterically and feel fantastic. I am so fucking done with self repression. You might think I am a repressed trans or whatever, I don’t think I am, I’m a straight guy, I’m fine with my body and my gender and sexuality, cause I don’t really care about gender or sexuality at all. But society does unfortunately, especially when you live in a rough neighborhood.

I also like masculine stuff, I enjoy challenging myself physically and feeling strong, I like projecting confidence and all of that. I feel deep inside I am very masculine and also very feminine, but all my life I was only allowed to express my masculine side. But man, do I want to let my inner queen fly free sometimes… but this society is too judgmental for that. I ADMIRE trans people for being themselves in spite of everything. Fuck, I need to go to a queer party or something to be myself for once.