No but seriously... am I agender?

I just posted on r/autism about how I wish I could explore my feminine side more freely as a cis straight guy, and how much I don't care about gender at all... and it got me thinking. I remember many years ago someone tried to explain to me how trans people feel: "imagine if you suddenly had a female body". I... wouldn't care at all. In a way it would actually be liberating to be able to be openly more feminine. But also I don't care about having a penis, it doesn't bother me. I don't care what my genitals are as long as they work lmao.

I don't understand conservatives who get so bitchy about gender, and I also don't understand all the non-binary genders and the pronouns and stuff. Like, I don't care. I just don't care. I force myself to act like a man because I want to fit in, that's it. In an ideal world I would just be... me, myself, a free soul, no thinking about "masculine" or "feminine", just do and feel whatever whenever. I wouldn't start dressing like a girl, but I'd just go outside in a shark pj or something. I just wanna be FREE!

I also genuinely enjoy being manly sometimes. I just don't see why there is this strong barrier between masculine and feminine. Aren't we all both to an extent?? And most of what we call "masculine" and "feminine" is a construct anyways. Like I get the idea of males going for a hunt and females raising their offspring, but we're not in the paleolithic now. I love pushing myself physically, going for hikes under the snow, doing manual labor and lifting weights to feel strong. And I also love cuddling with plushies and being a drama queen and talking to birds as if they could understand me. If I was fully myself I think I'd be like Freddie Mercury, just fully masculine and feminine. I don't know man, honestly I don't even care about being agender, that's how little I care about gender...