sometimes i forget how debilitating this can be

i feel so much shame over emailing profs when i am having a debilitating day.

one of those days where i really remember i have adhd; i forgot to get the final gift for my friends birthday (today), but lost one of the existing parts of it already. i did not do the readings for colloquium, and when i tried, i could not focus because i could not stop thinking about how i had lost something. my shit is everywhere, i feel overwhelmed by the mess around me. i have 10 chapters to read for next week in one class, 10 more in another, haven’t started either, and just feel defeated. and i’m on my period.

i drove to campus (sobbing), sat in the parking lot (sobbing), for ten minutes before i could bring myself to send this email.

i know i am capable — i am in my master’s program for a reason; i am already several times published, i am a great writer, and i am so passionate about what i do.

so why does it feel like there is something wrong with me when i get hit with a debilitating adhd day?

i feel so much shame over emailing profs when i am having a debilitating day.

one of those days where i really remember i have adhd; i forgot to get the final gift for my friends birthday (today), but lost one of the existing parts of it already. i did not do the readings for colloquium, and when i tried, i could not focus because i could not stop thinking about how i had lost something. my shit is everywhere, i feel overwhelmed by the mess around me. i have 10 chapters to read for next week in one class, 10 more in another, haven’t started either, and just feel defeated. and i’m on my period.

i drove to campus (sobbing), sat in the parking lot (sobbing), for ten minutes before i could bring myself to send this email.

i know i am capable — i am in my master’s program for a reason; i am already several times published, i am a great writer, and i am so passionate about what i do.

so why does it feel like there is something wrong with me when i get hit with a debilitating adhd day?