I'm 15 and apparently in a abusive relationship, but my life would be so much worse if I left him.
I'm 15, he's 14. He's in 8th grade and I'm in 10th. You'd think someone younger than me wouldn't have so much power over me but does. He essentially completely owns me and controls me
People usually call him abusive for the main 3 reasons
Control over me, this has been a dynamic since towards the beginning of our relationship (we've been together over a year, since he was 12 actually) it was fine when he was more loving but I have still always not been able to actually make my own decisions and have had to obey to what he wants or there will be mental consequences (not physical)
Screaming and cursing at me. Pretty self explanatory. Also saying things I'd never say to him like "SHUT THE FUCK UP" and "FUCK YOU"
More of a new one, possibility of him to harm me. We've talked about it together and there is a possibility of him hitting, beating, or most unlikely accidentally killing me in the future. He's said In the future I should get a taser to use against him for the worst case scenario. He's only brought up being physically violent towards me if I get plastic surgery though, and he has said he'd likely hurt himself and break stuff before he'd beat me
But, regardless of all that, he's very sweet and loving, and the best person I've ever met. I grew up in a very abusive household and he's the first and only person in my life ever to care about or love me. I don't have friends and he helps me make more friends. And he is very devoted committed and I know absolutely adore me. It's just that adoring someone wont stop him from acting like he does though
He thinks of me as the best person in the world, and has even told me he thinks it's unfortunate I ended up with him and that I should leave him and find someone better
I can't though. He's 1. Genuinely the only person I have in my life. But 2. I genuinely love him, so much
Today was the first time I've considered breaking up with him. He's worn me down so much lately. I actually felt so done. Then he screamed at me in front of his, that were also starting to become my friends. Having the ability to talk to people other than just him has been the highlight of my day lately and now they don't want to call with us anymore
Heres a quote from one of them "Yall can just have a private talk together cuz me and Vana are playing fort and we can’t really hear shit when y’all are screaming at eachother 😘😍🥰" bro. Even my boyfriend admits I never raised my voice at all during the interaction that made him say that. I guess I get why he worded it that way though to not just blame my boyfriend because he's his close friend
It still makes me sadder though
What had happened was my boyfriend had been telling me I should play Minecraft with him for hours, but I didn't want to. I had decided I wanted to practice rebelling against him and making my own decisions and remained firm on my stance that no, I dont want to, I wanted to continue doing something that was making me happy. Eventually after a few hours of him relentlessly asking he said something like fine I just might as well kill myself and left the call. I got concerned because any time I've previously before tried disobeying him he usually does say he's going to kill himself and so I got kinda antsy and was really adamant on him joining back. Once he joined back it was clear I was worried sick and we somehow I don't really remember got on the topic of why I was so worried, I guess cause it seemed like I was overreacting, and I said how pretty much whenever I've tried to not do what he wants he says he's gonna kill himself and that's why I was so concerned. That's when he started screaming and then said "YOU KNOW YOURE FUCKING LYING" I stayed my normal tone and just said "I'm not lying :(" and then left the call. So yeah
I was gonna include more details but I just got the opportunity to call with his friends again while typing (it's been hours since this went on) so I'm going to go do that