Left my abusive ex, moved countries, built a new life and I am so proud of myself for that.

Trigger warning: SA, Stalking

I was just thinking of how far I have come and I decided to vent. English is my second language, so sorry if i am not too clear at times. Me (27F) and my ex(27m) were together for 10 years, from when we were 13. It started out as a school girl crush and it evolved. I did not know what "negging" was then. He used to constantly point out other women and the imperfections i have compared to them. He would get insanely jealous if i did better at studies. I was good at it but he couldn't stand it. I hated everything about my body and myself. I was scared and tried to "dumb down" for him. I dont even know why. I judge myself for that, but i try not to be too harsh on myself anymore for it. I finally got the courage to break up with him one day. It took 10 years. We were supposed to get engaged, i come from a conservative country and a lot of our elders weren't too happy. But my mother supported me which meant a lot to me, she said she just wanted me to be happy and she will be there no matter what. So i was done and i told him. His behaviour changed. He was ultra nice to me all of a sudden. I still had sex with him a few times, not because i loved him, but because he had me convinced noone else will ever find me attractive and he was doing me a favour. And he was the only man i had ever been with, i was scared. I then decided to work on myself. I managed to get full scholarship and moved abroad to pursue my studies. I started meeting people and I started realising people did find me attractive. I realised what he had done, what "negging" means. My self esteem started growing. After some time I went back home to visit for a month and met our mutual friends, he was also there. He realised I was not in his "control" anymore and I know my worth, he ended up SAing me. He also started stalking me. I was terrified. I came back to the country i am pursuing my studies in, i blocked him everywhere and I blocked anyone who I thought was on his side, and worked on moving on. I got help from womens charity services and did counselling. I made new friends in this new country. I realised people like me and think i am interesting. Fast forward to now, I met a nice guy who cheers and hypes me up. I was terrified of a relationship again but his tender behaviour touches me. I am terrified of sex after the SA and i need time. He says he will wait as long as i want, he doesnt care, he just wants to be with me. He actually keeps his word. Its such a change. I am also getting my PhD this summer and i will be a doctorate soon. Everything worked out and I just want to hug my old self and tell her everything will be okay. ❤

TLDR: I got the courage to leave my abusive ex who used to neg me, he couldnt handle it and sa-ed me, i got scholarship and left the country, worked on myself, found someone who restores faith in love, about to get my PhD and i am doing so much better.