Guy Kelly: The not-so-secret messages behind Meghan’s ‘mood board’

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/02/21/the-not-so-secret-messages-behind-meghans-mood-board/ (Unarchived)

https://archive.ph/7qeh9 (Archived)

*** Article slides included in post

Hilarious breakdown of Princess Catherine's sister-in-law's Pinterest board.

Some snippets:

Now, as she slays her lifestyle brand, American Riviera Orchard, and instantly resurrects it as As Ever, she has invited us into her mind palace with the publication on Instagram of a mood board.

“You’re probably wondering how I get all my crazy, brilliant ideas. Well, here’s a little peak behind the curtain,” is the key message of the artfully-arranged work. And it’s true. We really have been curious about what goes on in Meghan’s head for years.

It seems she gets all her crazy, brilliant ideas from other businesses and influencers Seriously, what does go through that head?

The Michelangelo of Montecito never misses, and here is another meta-masterpiece. If that’s not terribiltà, then, well, I’m not qualified to use the term. Now let us try, in vain, to analyse what Meghan could possibly be trying to tell us.

Did you know that I am good at calligraphy?’ In common with a drunk uncle at a wedding who can do the worm without spilling the open bottle of Peroni hidden in his trousers, Meghan has a hidden talent, and she is not about to let an opportunity pass without reminding the world of it.

So positive. Aggressively positive. Affirmations yelled, compliments screamed. Daily optimism attacks. Praise sprees. “HAPPINESS LOOKS GORGEOUS ON YOU”, one bellows. “NOT TO SPOIL THE ENDING FOR YOU, BUT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK”, is in the style of a placard held by a street preacher outside a healthcare clinic.

THE END of this rere-reband insanity IS NIGH. (Hopefully.)

‘You would not believe the things I do with a carrot’ “Fresh farm eggs, carrots two ways, sweet treats.” That gorgeous calligraphy in the top left hand corner – it really is lovely handwriting – reads like a menu at the world’s most annoying restaurant... The middle line stands out. In truth, I am scared of researching the term “Carrots Two Ways” at work in case it brings up some Prince Harry-themed AI pornography, but it might just be a Mick Hucknell-themed drag act.

I will not be Googling "Carrots Two Ways."

If the moodboard itself wasn’t a throwback – one third late-noughties Tumblr devotee, one part Zodiac killer, one part fridge door – this is Meghan reinventing photography.

One part Zodiac killer. 💀

Or perhaps inventing it for the first time, but… again? It’s influencer Inception. It’s the kind of thing only the most singular mind could comprehend, and if your reaction is anything other than silent awe, well you don’t deserve her.

It's Grifter Groundhog's Day.