said goodbye to my sosa today

Today I said goodbye to my baby, sosa. (Named after the chief keef song) almost 2 weeks ago, he had fast, labored breathing and we took him to the er vet. They found fluid in his chest cavity. He had to be hospitalized, drained, and put in an oxygen tank. They discharged him 12 hours later but the fluid was already coming back. We took him to get drained 3 days later. The vet suggested a 16k surgery that I researched didn’t have a guaranteed success rate. We then put him on rutin and a low fat diet. He was doing well for almost 2 weeks then noticed his breathing was labored again. This was emotional torture for my bf and I and physical torture for sosa. We made the decision to put him to sleep today. We let him have regular wet food, gave him treats, and let him eat his brothers special food. On the way to the vet, he didn’t cry all the way like he normally did. He was very calm all the way to the end. He was stronger than me. I thanked him for all the joy he brought me and gave him so many kisses. This was my first cat of my own. I didn’t grow up with cats so this hurts so bad. When we came back to the apartment with the empty carrier I was inconsolable. Our apartment isn’t the same without him. I already think every pile of black clothing is him. He just turned 5 last week. This isn’t fair. </3. I love you sosa. I hope you got to your destination peacefully.