i’m such a creep

when i was a kid, i roleplayed a lot on roblox/minecraft. well, i also erped a lot as a kid and i don’t do that anymore nor do i really rp anymore. i also used to do a lot of ships because for some reason it really entertained me and in a really weird way.. aroused me?? idk i was really messed up as a kid and still am

anyway, my friends wanted to do a rp with me on roblox and i’m terrified because on roblox most people will try to rp with you and a lot of them are minors or children. i’m afraid i’m going to do a ship that’s romantic/sexual with a minor either unknowingly or just not care about their age. like i have to be on guard for any possibility of a minor speaking to me because if i’m not on guard i feel like i won’t care if they’re a minor or not and will continue to basically groom them.. if i’m not constantly making sure whether someone is a minor or not i just know i’m going to be a creep to them. i’m so afraid i’m going to groom a child and be creepy towards them then try to justify it or something

i’m scared about who i would be and what i would do if i didn’t constantly have these worries and self-awareness. if i’m not self-aware, i just know i’m gonna try to do something awful to a child.. it even seems that i’m annoyed i even have to be self aware to begin with which is alarming. i shouldn’t have to be self-aware to not be a creep to children, i shouldn’t have to remind myself to not be weird to them in case they’re a child or if they are a child. i’m a disgusting creep