this genuinely can’t be ocd anymore like people say ( just a vent )

TW: pedophilia stuff

people tell me that what i say sounds like ocd ( no diagnosis yet )

i feel what seems to be attraction to children, it genuinely cannot be ocd. i have this feeling in my chest and this heat feeling all around my body.. all the same feelings i have with like adults or someone i find attractive regularly. they all say it’s most likely ocd, but it can’t be. then i keep trying to find out like what part i feel attracted to, like why i’m attracted to them and.. the attraction/arousal just gets stronger because i actually do find reasons that make me attracted ( the way their face looks, the facial expression they’re making.. etc ) if it was ocd i wouldn’t find reasons why they make me feel attraction

so genuinely, HOW can this be ocd if it’s clear i’m attracted to children and why can’t i just accept that i am one? you don’t have to answer this but still.. i don’t get it man