I give up on love

I honestly gave up on women. I realized it's not worth it. I realized everyone taught me how to treat a woman but I was never taught how I should be treated by one. I had to learn what respect was and that women should reciprocate and show appreciation and you know what I like physical touch, even if it's a hug or touch on the shoulder. I've been treated like crap the last 10yrs and I'm done. I met a wonderful woman with a beautiful soul unfortunately she's married. But I gave up because I realized women like her I'll never find that again so I gave up. I've had enough pain. I don't want to be loved I don't want to be touched. I'd rather be alone.

Grandma wants me to go to church but I don't like a lot of Christians or people nowadays. I've met Catholics and Muslims that were more Christian than Christians.

I'm tired. I still read my Bible and I really enjoy Proverbs and devotional book.