Misunderstandings when dating bisexuals as a lesbian

To be clear, this post is not an invitation for biphobia! This is just a post about the misunderstanding and different approaches to dating that we can experience, due to our experiences and history of dating as lesbians and bisexuals are different.

I have no issue with dating bisexuals, which is why I went on dates with these women. The only problem is that these bisexual women often expect me to play the ‘dominant’ role. This is exacerbated by the fact that she told me on the date that she had dated women before, but it just so happened that she only felt interested in the man. I don’t know how to feel about that?? It made me feel really awkward, like she’s going to pick a man over a woman anyways. It’s just an odd thing to mention on a date with a woman. I asked her to tell me how she realised she was queer, just bc as a queer person I am always interested to know how queer people come to realise they’re queer. She said that she always knew, but her immediate reaction was ‘why did you ask me that’ and she started talking about how people in the community are often judgemental that she’s never dated a woman and started getting kind of defensive even tho i never even questioned her sexuality or invalidated her in any way. Usually it’s fun to discuss the joy of realising you’re queer. But I guess maybe she was insecure about it.

It also felt really platonic, I didn’t feel that she flirted with me at all and it just felt like a friendship hangout. I complimented her several times. And she expects me to always pick the place to go. She told me that we’d meet a second time but that she would love it if I picked the place. Again. Unless I initiate plans they don’t really make plans. Should I tell her that I just felt a platonic vibe?

Also Where are the lesbians IRL? 😭