Day 5

I’m now at day 5 off the stuff, the longest I have gone, ever. That feels slightly embarrassing to admit, but I’m trying to be kind to myself.

My usage spiralled to the end and I kind of went off the rails. My health (liver, stomach, bladder) really deteriorated, family and friends found out. Initially, I thought my world was falling apart, but slowly over the last few weeks, so much support has been put into place. Had I approached a GP, I don’t think I would have had the same level of intervention. So I’m telling myself that maybe this needed to happen; maybe I needed to hit rock bottom in order to make a fresh start. I was just existing on K, I honestly believe if I had continued on that spiral, I would have died. It’s hard to care about your wellbeing and safety when you’re dissociating and off your face most of the time.

I do have cravings today, I miss the compulsion of taking it. It’s the escapism, I think. I am filling my day with things I can do as alternatives. I am trying to remember my life before this, it was much better, so I want to get that back. K made me a shell of a human being and that’s no life at all.

If you’re struggling today, I see you. It’s really tough, but ultimately our fate is in our own hands. I know that continue I using I would be denying myself a happy, healthy, and full life.

Godspeed 🫡