How often do you come across men you’re attracted to or have chemistry with?

I apparently don’t look like a typical INTJ woman because I’m into fashion/like to dress up, can lead conversations well (quite draining but I do it well because I developed this skill from work), can act bubbly at times (putting on a persona), and apparently I’m attractive.

I’ve been on many dates with men and I noticed that I’ll get attracted to maybe 1 out of 20 or 30 men I come across. I’m incapable of falling for a guy just because he gives me roses, sweet talks, takes me out to fancy dinners, showers me with compliments, or does all these other romantic/sweet gestures that most of my girls tend to fall for.

I’ve been on dates with the good looking guy, tall guy, athletic guy, successful guy, funny guy, nerdy guy, artsy guy, serious guy, class-clown type of guy, etc…you name it every type of guy you can think of.

Most of the men wanted to keep seeing me and date me but I just couldn’t develop attraction or feelings for 95+ % of them. On an extreme rare occasion, I’ll get hooked on a guy (other than being somewhat smart, there’s not much pattern or common denominator among the type of men I fall for) but it takes an UNUSUAL amount of time to get over the guy or to move on.

I think it’s because it’s EXTREMELY RARE for me to develop feelings for a guy. My girlfriends would be like “you’re still not over him?! wow you take a realllly long time to move on”. Or people who don’t know that I’m still hung up on the previous guy or my ex, will just assume I’m too picky with men, because they see many men pursuing me but I keep rejecting every single one of them years at a time.

I WISH I was more like my friends, where I fall for a guy just because he does romantic sweet things. I tend to get hooked on a guy if I discover some unique charm in him that only I (and perhaps some other minor group of women) notice, and most of my friends usually don’t understand why I get so infatuated once I get hooked, “HIM? you rejected all those guys for HIM?! I mean, he’s not bad but…there are definitely better guys out there, what do you see in him? Why do you like him so much? Just give more chances to these other guys who want you”.

Also sick of hearing men telling me “you’re not very romantic, you’re quite robotic” if I don’t sustain my fake persona in front of them. But it’s exhausting to constantly keep up with this persona, especially for a guy who I’m not attracted to. The cute/romantic side of me naturally comes out ONLY to the guy I’m attracted to (also I’m far from asexual, I get very strong urges if there’s chemistry with a guy), but why is it so rare for me to be attracted to a guy??

Any other fashionable/attractive INTJ women in here have similar issue? (I.e. anyone else look/dress like Glinda 💃 but acts like Elphaba🧙‍♀️ and rarely gets attracted to a guy?)