Another one of those rants

Lives on hold. Another day without him. Another day of waiting, of hoping, of feeling completely abandoned by a system that doesn't care to understand the toll it takes on lives. My husband,my love, my partner, the father of my children is separated from us by an ocean, leaving our world in a state of frozen limbo for over a year now.

Each day, I watch families who are already together move forward, while we remain stuck in this endless cycle of delays. I wish i could defer my childens constant questions to whomever decided prioritising AOS over consular cases was the right thing to do, because its killing me. They don’t understand bureaucracy. They don’t understand processing times or immigration policies. They only understand that the man who loves them more than anything in this world isn’t here. My children only know that their father is not here to tell them stories, to make them laugh, to feel safe, to guide them. And I, feeling utterly powerless, am losing myself.

This prolonged separation has sent my health down the toilet, my body and spirit are fraying under the weight of constant heartache and uncertainty. I barely eat. I can't sleep. I function solely because my children depend on me to. The desperation and need to be with my husband have turned into something even worse resentment. I hate myself for feeling it. I don’t want to push him away, but living our entire marriage through a screen is crushing my heart. I feel like I am unraveling, piece by piece, day by day. The things that used to bring me joy are just reminders of what’s missing. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, and I don’t want to push him away, but living our lives through a phone screen is indescribably painfull. I enjoy nothing anymore. The things that used to bring me happiness feel meaningless now.

What makes it unbearable is knowing this pain is avoidable. Knowing that the system prioritizes people who already have their spouses beside them. That families like mine, split apart, breaking a little more with each passing day, are being left behind. I don’t understand how any agency could look at a family drowning in grief and decide that those who already have what we are desperate for should be first. I wouldn’t even care if they just approved the K-3 visa—just let me be with him, let me wait with him. I would endure years of uncertainty if it meant I could do it at his side. Instead, I am here. And he is there. And this endless, senseless waiting is swallowing me whole How can any agency look at families torn apart, drowning in pain, and decide that those already together deserve to be processed first? But instead, we are left suffering, while others who sleep beside their loved ones every night are moved ahead of us. It’s senseless. It’s cruel. And it is breaking me.

I’ve turned from hopeful to frustrated to sad to angry to complete despair—to absolute numbness. He is the stabilizing force in my life, my light, and at the same time, because we can’t be together, the source of my deepest pain. I need him. I need this to end. I need my family back before this waiting consumes me completely

Before I'm asked. PD early Jan 2024 Yes tried congressman. Yes tried senator. Replies..."within normal processing" which is a senseless response when "normal processing" goalposts keep moving up and up and up. Yes filed K3 October 2024 not expecting anything to happen with tbh. No he can't wait with me in the UK he has a two children with his EX wife in the US one of which is poorly and he is a very supportive, involved dad. Yes I know consular waiting times are currently 16.5 months for the first of 3 staged. Yes I've tried getting a life. No I can't visit my ties to my husband are probably stronger then my ties to the UK unless I leave my children but they need their mum. CBP would probably turn me around anyway. Yes he visits the UK he gas no leave left. His company was generous to let him work remotely with some extra time around Christmas. No he can't change to remote working with them. Nothing we have seen qualifies us for expedite. Yes it does suck.