I’m regretting getting my two kittens and I’m thinking about taking them back to the shelter.

Hi everyone, I got two female kittens from a shelter one week ago and I am regretting it immensely. I’m writing this because I feel so guilty it’s killing me, but I really feel like a can’t deal with them. They are around 6 months old, very playful but also very chill, they usually sleep with me or my brother on the couch when we watch tv and they are not too needy for attention. They’re getting a little more comfortable now and I’m starting to resent them for invading my space. I can’t sleep in the morning because at dawn they come in my room and wake me up because they want cuddles and I hate it. I used to have a cat when I was younger (I’m 27 now) and I had to put him down when I was 21, I’ve always had cats around because my neighbour had three and they always came to our place to eat and sleep, they’d go back home at night but they’d spend the day with us, but I was still living with my family back then. We moved and I have my own apartment, and I got a pet rat a while ago that was special needs, and he was my baby, and a month after he passed I got the kittens. The issue is that I feel completely detached and indifferent towards them, I don’t want them around when they want cuddles, I don’t want to play with them and I just want my space back. I feel horrible for it because I’ve always wanted my own cat now that I live alone, but I can’t stand to have them around. They are clean and they are affectionate but I can’t stand to be home because I know they’ll be there and I don’t want to interact with them. I feel horrible, my family and friends are so enthusiastic about the kittens, but I feel extremely depressed and dejected, and I’m seriously thinking about taking them back to the shelter.

I’ve been crying myself to sleep because I feel guilty about not wanting them in my house. I read about kitten blues, but this feels so much worse than what I’ve read, mostly because usually the kitten is standoffish, whilst my kittens are extremely affectionate. I don’t know what to do, also because I have high functioning depression and this situation is making it really difficult for me to go on, I’m pulling away from my friends and I’m spending all my time sleeping on my parents’ couch because I don’t want to be home. I feel terrible and I don’t know what to do. I’m also sorry if it’s not well written, it’s mostly a rant because I feel so bad talking about this with people I know irl.