11 months and still regretting it

Been busy for the last few months, flooding myself with whatever activity I can do, upskilling, working, hobbies, and etc. No connection consistently since our break up way back on april 2023.

I initiated the break up due to personal reasons. To sum it up, it's just me constantly losing to life, breadwinner, and eventually losing happiness in life.

11 months in and I still regret my decission back then. She found someone new after 8 months and I just can't have myself disrespect her when she's finally back on her feet.

I know everyone here says that I will find someone better blah blah blah, but really... It's really getting harder to accept reality every damn day that I lost the love of my life, my only sunshine that I threw away.

Even up to this day I regret my decission. That what if God gave me a better situation in life then i wouldnt have to lose you. I'm trying to forgive myself everyday. One thing for sure is that this is going to be a long journey of self healing.