Parents are dying. How do I cope?

Hoping for some tips from those who have been through this. Both my parents are dying. My mum is in a nursing home on palliative care but it’s not likely it will be too immediate, more of a ‘we can’t do anything to fix you anymore’ and my dad’s health has sharply declined since mum went into a home, not eating or taking his meds despite reminders and has wasted away. He has home care but we’re pushing for a nursing home for him too. I held his hand today and it was the most heart breaking thing because he has always been there for me and I am scared of being alone.

I’ve not always had a great relationship with my parents, esp my mother who has had lots of mental health issues since I was about 14 where I ended up being the carer for her. I ended up moving away for a few years because it was too much and during this time their alcoholism became quite bad, with Covid being the final straw and it really started to be the beginning of the end for them healthwise.

They’ve both given up and both just want to die, and honestly I have lost count of the times I have mourned their loss in one way or another (esp dad who has had a near fatal heart attack and then a transplant).

But the closer it gets the more it’s scaring the shit out of me.

I’ve got 3 kids including a 3 year old that takes up a lot of my time, a new business which is doing well but I can’t really take my foot of the gas until I have completed outstanding work, and my partner but our relationship is rocky due to all the stress we’re under.

I need to survive this, I have too many people relying on me, and I will not give up like my mum did when my dad got sick because my kids deserve better. I’m already in therapy anticipating it being difficult but would appreciate any advice on how to keep going and not break in what looks like a few difficult months ahead.