Lost in life

Hi all. I am 29F and I feel like I have lost all will for life. I have always been good academically and wanted to have a really good career. Got three degrees but no work experience. I switched streams quite often. Maybe I have adhd. I have had a toxic family or so I believe. I underwent abuse as a child and haven’t told anyone yet in my family. We used to be a joint family but now are nuclear. My dad gave everyone in our family money and now everyone else is so established and rich and we are kinda broke ourselves to the point that dad keeps crying we lost money. He still hasn’t learnt his lesson though because he still keeps lending money to people which never come back. He and mom have never had a good relationship because of this and also because there’s never been love. They constantly belittle each other in front of other people. I wanted to have a career but kind of am a failure rn. I went to the states for my masters but they asked me to come back after my degree because they feel lonely and old and needed help but when I came back it was only because they wanted to get me married. My dad is orthodox so also keeps prioritising any 3rd person who is male over me just because I am a female. I tried to get a job while staying home but it’s a Vicious cycle where I get up in the morning, fight at home and then am so mentally drained that I can’t study or apply. I don’t even have any friends here anymore. I went to the states to do s masters behind my ex who was cheating for 3 years out of 6. It was heartbreaking but I got out of it and tried to study. But nothing has come out of my life. Now I wake up everyday with panic attacks because i don’t have a personal or professional life and feel behind. All my classmates have established themselves. My sister blamed me and asks me to do something with my own money and not take money from my father. I don’t want to but m broke and I can’t concentrate to study or apply jobs at home because of the fights. I keep blaming parents and they blame me. Recently I told my mother about the abuse I suffered as a child and how she should have been there for me and she just told me it’s in the past forget it. Idk what to do anymore. I love them and I think they love me but idk how to put my life on track. I don’t talk to them anymore.