I feel so lost

As the title says, I feel so lost. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been trying to fight against this disorder so many times but I just can’t anymore. It doesn’t get better. I’m in so much pain. I don’t wanna live like this anymore but I just can’t fight it. I can’t fight these thoughts, I can’t fight these feelings, I can’t fight these stupid thoughts. Please just let me rest.